im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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