Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
