Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
