I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I am naked and annoyed.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
