You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
