There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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