Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
