Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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