pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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