smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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