uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
id be glad to
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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