Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
