There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
