susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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