yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
