I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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