from now on my penis is your penis
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
