You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
