he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
