she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
