dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
