Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and i looked up. we had an audience...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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