someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
