thus making me awesome and them whores
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm like, not good at living.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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