Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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