Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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