you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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