And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize