currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
