I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
