i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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