no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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