It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
