My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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