This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
