I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
