So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
