Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
