i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
