God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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