thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
