Your mouth is God's brothel.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't turn off my feet"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
