Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
