This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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