I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
