This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
