our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
