He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
