i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
