Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize