And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
