I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I currently don't understand fingers.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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