hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
