Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
