I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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