Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize