I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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