Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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