bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
