My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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