yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
