Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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