do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
that's an acceptable place to lick
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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