New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
