Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
