Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you didnt know i had herpes?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
