He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
