I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
