it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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