Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize