Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
