I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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