Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
