I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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