my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
