just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So apparently I’m into choking now
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