Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
