D3 body, D1 cock
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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