My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
