no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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