WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
