He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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